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Five College Social Life Blunders That Can Ruin You Forever

April 4, 2012

By  Martika Bendall

1. Lack of confidence is the surest way to kill your college social career or professional career after school. The best way to sink your chances in life is to be timid and afraid to go after what you want. Those who lack self confidence are sending out the message to the world: ‘”I am not sure I can handle what comes my way.” The result: people think, “If you’re not sure, why should I be sure?” The other side of that is over-confidence. Arrogance is the quickest way to turn a potential ally into an enemy.

2. Judging our social networks too quickly. Sometimes the most rewarding relationships we have come from those who challenge us. Too often though we take the easy way by socializing with those who are only like us: either because we don’t have enough confidence or skill to align ourselves with others who can help us to expand our worldview, or because we feel incapable of managing ourselves in unfamiliar waters. The chances of you working only with people who are just like you are slim to none. Social adaptability is a must for any young person desiring to be a successful and prosperous adult. That’s why the affluent send their children through programs like the one at ‘The Campus’ to learn how to master any social setting. But all of us need to be able to adapt socially if we want to succeed.

3. Socializing while not understanding your core values. The old adage is true: if you stand for nothing you’ll fall for anything. Those who don’t have a developed sense of themselves and their own core values are likely to adopt those of their peer group out of convenience. How many people do you know who ended up in careers, marriages and philosophies that they just “fell into”? This happens because people don’t take the time to explore what it is they really value and what their true talents are. Because of this college students end up majoring in something because their friends are majoring in it; majoring in the first subject they are good at; or worse, majoring in something that their parents wanted them to major in. Successful people know who they are, who they want to be and have an action plan to get them there.

4. Compartmentalizing work and leisure. Generation Y more than any other understands the importance of friendship and having your friends by your side to share experiences. But do we really capitalize on our socializing potentials? In college we seem to learn to keep friends and work separate instead of understanding that friends could be the difference between or passport to a life of bliss or complete drudgery. Choosing your friends or those you date on frivolous things such as liking the same music or movies might not be as smart as learning to align yourself with people who truly share you basic core values.

5. Anti-socialism. Sticking your head in a book and leaving it there can be just as damaging as partying for five years and never cracking a book at all. Success happens out in the world with other people. Those who never get out there to meet others or share what they know and they do with others end up struggling their entire lives.

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